Sunday, 5 July 2009

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

What: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

Who: Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson and John Turturro

When: 2009

Oh deary me... I' disappointed. Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is just a big pile of robotic nonsense, probably the most obnoxious film of the year. The plot is non-existing and there are way too many comic reliefs (I'm sorry, but I like to take movies seriously), I guess Megan Fox in absurdly short shorts ( they basically defy the laws of physics) is the only reason why you would want to see this movie.

It's like someone woke up one day and decided to shoot a movie so unbelievably uninteresting that not even a couple of absurdly good-looking female specimens, bad ass robots and car chases could save it. And, if that wasn't enough, they even threw in there some pseudo-romantic crap, just so guys could convince their girlfriends to go to the cinema with them (however, I wonder how a girl in a relationship will convince her boyfriend to watch New Moon with her. One would think that the inherent lack of "hot chicks" would be a problem...Well, maybe Robert Pattinson is so attractive that even guys will feel compelled to watch it, who knows? Modern society confuses me).

Yeah, there's this whole sub-plot about how Sam (Shia LeBeouf) hasn't confessed his undying for Mikaela (Megan Fox) and vice-versa. Throughout the movie they're like little children arguing ("You say it first!" "No, YOU say it first"). Finally, when Sam is hit by a super evil robotic missile and gets knock-out, Mikaela says she loves him (well, duh, she thought he was dead). But, although unconscious, Sam could still hear her (go figure...), wakes up and gets all full of himself because he wasn't the first to say"it"(smug bastard...).

So, long story short, Sam almost gets raped by an evil robot with a wiggly tail that, when kissed, tastes like diesel. Optimus Prime gets killed only to be resurrected minutes later. Sam acts all dead and stuff just to convince a girl way out of his league to tell him she loves him. Random robots bitch a lot about pretty much everything and the mother of all evil robots is killed in a very anti-climatic scene (No, seriously, it's Kapow! Bam! Pew Pew Pew! Yahoo! And he's dead, I'm not joking)

Rating: Pretty crappy