Jezebel's DVD pick of the month: Whatever Works

(Yes, it used to be Jezebel's DVD pick of the week but I have other things to do, you know?)

What: Whatever Works

Who: Larry David, Evan Rachel Wood, Patricia Clarkson, Ed Begley Jr., Michael McKean, Henry Cavill.

When: June 25th

Mastermind: Woody Allen (in case you're wondering... mastermind means director)


I know this is getting a little repetitive but... I just don't get the T-Meter critics from Rotten Tomatoes. I really liked "Whatever Works". It's sharp, funny, witty and intelligent: a comedy for people who aren't soulless automatons and don't laugh at things you'd see in a romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston. And still... the T-Meter Critics (also known as morons with zero or no intelligent input what so ever regarding films in general) didn't like it. It only got 49% positive reviews. But then I thought "well, maybe they just don't like Woody Allen anymore for that whole situation with his ex-wife's Asian adoptive daughter" but no, "Vicky Christina Barcelona" got 82% positive reviews (which is odd because it's rubbish).

(I really have to stop making a habit out of insulting T-Meter critics... it's not a very nice thing to do)

"Whatever works" is Woody Allen's return to smart comedies. Sure, the dramatic phase was nice, I liked "Scoop" and "Match Point" but by the time I got to" Cassandra's Dream" and "Vicky Christina Barcelona" I was bored out of my mind. After all, what's a Woody Allen film without a neurotic, borderline autistic, obsessive-compulsive character? I'll admit this film doesn't feature Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz making out or hunky Javier Bardem being hunky but it does have clever dialogues, witty one-lines such as "I see death by cultural shock" (go see the movie for context) and interesting characters like the up-tight southern midle-aged woman who ends up becoming an artist and sharing her bed with two other gentlemen.

So, yes, it's great in the sense only Woody Allen can be. Go watch it... like NOW.

Rating: Awesome!

Jezebel's DVD pick of the week - Ninja Assassin

(Yeah, that's right! It's a new segment!)

Do you like 3D animated blood in large amounts? Do you like ninjas and assassins? Mildly attractive women? A linear but entertaining plot? If you answered yes to all these questions, "Ninja Assassin" might just be the movie for you.

Yes, "Ninja Assassin" is one of the awesomest movies ever. I mean, think about it: ninjas AND assassins (it's a bit redundant but, hey, I'm not complaining). The only way it could be better was if they threw in a couple of vampire zombies.

One of the reasons why I decided to watch "Ninja Assassin" was that, in most of its reviews, "gorefest" seemed to be the most repeated word. Honestly, people, who doesn't love mindless and often cartoonish violence?

So, "Ninja Assassin" is the tale of a very fit young man (I will make no further references to his looks, I promise, this is just an accurate description) who was trained by a super secret society of bad ass ninjas but, unfortunately, was later forced to go on the run after he decided he wasn't really into to the whole "butchering people for money" groove they had going on.

About this very toned main character I will say this: he might be able to kick Chuck Norris's ass. I'm serious people! This guy can do vertical push-ups on a bed of nails. Yes, vertical push-ups... on a bed of nails. Now Chuck Norris has to learn how to do back flips over a pit of fiery lava to keep up with the competition.

Rating: Oh yay!